Thursday, September 20, 2012

Mental Block

I think it's safe to say I am having a mental block right now.

160 has been a HUGE milestone for me to reach for oh, I don't know ten million years.  In the past I've hesitated putting a "goal weight" on myself because I don't know how my body is going to feel at 150 or 140 or GASP even 130!  I just know I want to feel good in what I wear (or don't wear...) (sorry Mom!)

So for the longest time, 160 was my goal.  Not because I ever planned to stop at 160!  But because 160 FINALLY means I am in a healthy weight range.  It will mean I am no longer morbidly obese!  It will mean I am no longer obese!  It will even mean I am no longer overweight!

Can I just say that I can not wait for the day to log onto my wiiFit scale and have it stay in the "average" weight rather than being in the overweight (or remembering when it was all the way at the top of the obese?!?)

I've gotten close before!  Last year, on Halloween I weighed in at 159...or maybe it was 157.  (Time ruins my memory!)  But it was in the 50's!  However, it wasn't an "official weight watcher weigh in day" so I didn't track it.  BLAST!  But I know I was there!

Then, since that day, the scale went up...up and away!  Until I finally had enough to start doing something about it again.

I feel like I get close, then I self sabotage!  I get close, then I self sabotage!  I am NOT liking this pattern!

So here I am AGAIN.  ALMOST at that healthy weight mark.  And I want it so bad I can taste it!  But then I do dumb, dumb, dumby things like allow myself to eat out last week (TWICE!).

So this week I am FOCUSING!

September is almost over.  And I have a HUGE goal to see 159.9 before September 29th when my daughter is baptized and we have a bunch of family down and I run a 5K with my hubby and mom!  I am DETERMINED!

Plus.  I added one more reason.  Last week, the hubs and I had a date.  And since we are poor, we ended up walking around the mall.  There is a new shoe store in the mall so of course I HAD to go in for a looksie!


I found pumps that I've been drooling about since.  (I'm not even lying!)  I seriously have had 3 different dreams about wearing these shoes!  One of them I wore my 5 inch pumps to clinicals in my hawt white scrubs.  Then next I was wearing them in my swimming suit.  And the last, I was wearing them at my daughters baptism.

Since the first two definitely won't happen...I want to make the 3rd happen!  But $40 is a lot for me to indulge myself on shoes.  So I figured I had to earn them.  And what better way to celebrate FINALLY (after over a decade) getting healthy!?!

So you can bet that the moment I see those 50's pop up on the scale I will be driving myself to the mall to pick up MY SHOES!!!!!  (They better have them by then or I'll be MAD!)

Now I'm off to go on a walk as I dream about wearing my heels with a cute skirt and shirt next Saturday morning!  :)

Don't will come SOON!  (Today the scale said 163.1!)

1 comment:

  1. You better be posting some pics of those shoes for sure!!! Hope it comes soon for ya!!
    Smooches xx


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