Thursday, January 5, 2012

Day 1

It's easy to want to jump on here and blog when the scale is moving in a direction I like.

Real easy.

And consequently, it's extremely difficult and humbling to log on and be accountable when it's not.

Remember on Monday how I was going to throw away all the crap food in my house?  Remember on Monday how I said I had gained...but at least I wasn't up in the 170's again.

That would have been the case, if I knew what self-control was!

But I don't.

So today I stepped on the scale and I knew it was bad.  So bad that I was ready to not show up, I didn't want to show my face to such a number.  But I texted my mom that I was going, so I had to be accountable.  I had to face the music.

I'm not going to lie.  There were tears.  I tried to hide them, but I didn't do a very good job.  Sure, I guess you could say I was sad I gained.  But really, the tears were of anger.

Anger at myself!

I knew better.  I should have done better!

I let myself down.

I disappointed myself.

So enough with beating myself up...........

I stayed at the meeting and I am so glad I did!  I needed the energy to pick up the broken self I was.  We talked about looking at a time you've been successful and really focusing on what you were doing at that moment.

I've had several times.  Running my marathon.  Hitting my first 10% at WW, hitting my 2nd 10% at WW.  Hitting the smallest weight I've been in a decade.

So what was I doing then?  I was consistent.  Consistently counting and tracking points.  Consistently passing up food I know aren't good for me.  Consistently getting in physical exercise.

I'm doing none of that right now.

DUH!  No wonder I'm up so much.

So I thought hard about what I wanted to do this week....what I could commit to between today and next Thursday.

1.  Tracking.  I will count everything bite I eat for this next week.
2.  Exercise.  I will find 3 days where I can get at least 30 min of exercise in.
3.  Steps.  I want to increase my steps again to the 10,000 mark.  I used to wear my pedometer all the time. Now days, I don't even have a clue how many steps I'm taking in a day.  But, I'll let you know...I'm sticking it on RIGHT NOW.....hold on.  I'm grabbing it......Okay, it's officially on my hip.  I now have 4 steps for the day.

I can do anything for a week!  Then, I'll reevaluate.....

So here goes my week of work.  Today is Day 1, I'm going to take it a day at a time.  Today I am going to CHOOSE to do better.

Because it's a choice, ya know?  And I'm tired of the choices I've been choosing lately.....


  1. WE can do it! I know we are in different stages, but still both so important! I can't wait to see you next week...with no tears!

  2. Just so you know...I love this blog. You pretty much put in words the way I feel constantly...about the whole process and how it will always be a process! So Thank You!


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