It's easy to want to jump on here and blog when the scale is moving in a direction I like.
And consequently, it's extremely difficult and humbling to log on and be accountable when it's not.
Remember on Monday how I was going to throw away all the crap food in my house? Remember on Monday how I said I had gained...but at least I wasn't up in the 170's again.
That would have been the case, if I knew what self-control was!
But I don't.
So today I stepped on the scale and I knew it was bad. So bad that I was ready to not show up, I didn't want to show my face to such a number. But I texted my mom that I was going, so I had to be accountable. I had to face the music.
I'm not going to lie. There were tears. I tried to hide them, but I didn't do a very good job. Sure, I guess you could say I was sad I gained. But really, the tears were of anger.
Anger at myself!
I knew better. I should have done better!
I let myself down.
I disappointed myself.
So enough with beating myself up...........
I stayed at the meeting and I am so glad I did! I needed the energy to pick up the broken self I was. We talked about looking at a time you've been successful and really focusing on what you were doing at that moment.
I've had several times. Running my marathon. Hitting my first 10% at WW, hitting my 2nd 10% at WW. Hitting the smallest weight I've been in a decade.
So what was I doing then? I was consistent. Consistently counting and tracking points. Consistently passing up food I know aren't good for me. Consistently getting in physical exercise.
I'm doing none of that right now.
DUH! No wonder I'm up so much.
So I thought hard about what I wanted to do this week....what I could commit to between today and next Thursday.
1. Tracking. I will count everything bite I eat for this next week.
2. Exercise. I will find 3 days where I can get at least 30 min of exercise in.
3. Steps. I want to increase my steps again to the 10,000 mark. I used to wear my pedometer all the time. Now days, I don't even have a clue how many steps I'm taking in a day. But, I'll let you know...I'm sticking it on RIGHT NOW.....hold on. I'm grabbing it......Okay, it's officially on my hip. I now have 4 steps for the day.
I can do anything for a week! Then, I'll reevaluate.....
So here goes my week of work. Today is Day 1, I'm going to take it a day at a time. Today I am going to CHOOSE to do better.
Because it's a choice, ya know? And I'm tired of the choices I've been choosing lately.....