As much as I was sabotaging myself earlier, now I've apparently made up for it. The scale and I are friends again! So much so that I actually saw a number I haven't seen in I DON"T KNOW HOW LONG!
I had to blink. Twice. Then I had to step off, zero out the scale. And then I stepped back on. (and I repeated this pattern probably 5 times.)
(and if you think I'm joking, I'm not.)