So I have been thinking a lot about what changed with me this time around. You know, because in the past I suffered from the "I don't give a damn" illness and the "I'm too fat to bother" syndrome.
What changed? Me, I guess.
I finally stopped eating my own excuses.
(That, and I stopped eating some other stuff too...you know, like ice cream and cookie dough and cheesecake.)
But mostly, it was the excuses.
You see, I figured out that only I could put my foot down and say ENOUGH ALREADY!
So I guess my light bulb moment was that it was up to me. No one could do it for me. No one could motivate me. No trip, no outfit, no swimming suit. I had to dig deep, put on my big girl panties (that are now my not-so-big girl panties).
It was hard at first. There was a lot of self-talk. I'd say: "Self, if you give in today...you will give in tomorrow" or "Self, get up and go exercise before you dump your butt into the couch for the night or you KNOW you won't be willing to get back up."
I really started hating my self talks. But they worked. They worked because I know myself. I know when I'm feeding myself a line of BS. I know when I can do better.
So to some that are looking for the magic pill, or the magic diet, or the magic whatever...sorry, you won't find that here. I once searched for that too. Until I realized that none of that works....EVER. It's all about changing who you are starting from the inside out. It's all about lifestyle changes.
SO.....here's the first change you can focus on. (Or at least one of the first I focused on.) Each of us knows what our food weakness is. And when I say know.....I mean KNOW! I know exactly what foods I over-indulge in at EVERY opportunity. (even still!)
So I had to make a decision. I could allow myself to continue to self-sabotage. OR, I could take control. I chose the control.
I looked squarely at the cheesecake and gave it my "swear finger" and walked away.
You see, if you say no in the grocery store...you only have to be strong ONCE. If you give in at the grocery store, you are going to have an ongoing battle with your food weakness when you get home. Make it easy on yourself. Just say no at the store. Once is enough! I know I am not strong enough to say no over and over and over and over to. Are you?
So why should you even bother? BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT! You are. No matter where you are. No matter what you weigh. No matter how many times you've 'started over.' No matter how long you have tried to lose weight. No matter how many 'diets' you've tried. No matter how many things haven't worked for you. No matter how many times you've said 'THIS time will be different'. No matter if you believe you are worth it or not. Because I believe it.
I KNOW YOU ARE WORTH IT.