Friday, July 8, 2011

Fresh Starts

I think fresh starts are always refreshing.  I've been on my fresh start now for the past few months.  Now, I've decided I'd like to document my new life in progress so I have something to look back and and refer to.  Maybe a journal of sorts of my journey.

So today I will give the back story.  For years I have struggled with my weight.

YEARS!  (like my entire marriage practically.)

I really can't remember the last time I was happy with what I weighed, or happy with how I felt about myself.  I think about all the years and the memories I have sacrificed because of this issue.

I'm not saying that I haven't had wonderful memories along the way.  What I am saying is that I know how I have felt about myself and my weight has held me back on more than one occasion.

There's been many times that I've started to change.  There's also been many times that I've given up on changing.

Changing is HARD!

There are some big fears I have, but I will get into those later.  Today is just about where I am now, and what brought me to this point.

So.  My name is Alisha.  I'm a food addict.  And even more specifically, I'm a sweets addict.  Yes, it's true...I have a sweet tooth like no one's business.  Trust me people, I didn't get the size I am now (or was) by eating just veggies.

Where did I start?  Well, after high school I progressively added a few pounds each year.  I had some horrible things happen to me that led me to start becoming an emotional eater.  The birth of my 3 children added on a bit of weight.  Slowly, but surely the weight has just found a nice comfy place to reside.  And now I'm ready for it to leave, once and for all!!

There's been years that I've been healthier than others.  Shoot, I even ran a marathon.  I wasn't at a healthy weight at that point, but I was working on it.  Then I just gave up for one reason or another.  Slowly, that weight came back on.

About a year ago I wanted to make a change again.  You see, I had been having MAJOR issues with getting pregnant again.  I didn't know if it would ever happen for us again.  I needed to focus on something else.  That's when I decided to sign up for Weight Watchers.  I LOVED it!

I was seeing AWESOME success.  At this point in my life I was the largest I have EVER been (even during pregnancies).  So slowly, I calculated points and my weight started dropping.  I began that round of Weight Watchers at a whopping 233 pounds!  (gross!!)  Not long after, I had dropped a significant amount.  ALMOST my 10%, which is the first big goal for WW.  I loved the program.  I loved that I could eat what I wanted, I just had to be accountable.  That's about when I found out I was pregnant with Connor.  Eeeek!  We were excited, but I was also a bit sad.  For the first time I was seeing regular, real success.  Now, I was pregnant and no doubtedly going to add to my already heavy weight.  By my first doctor appointment, I was already up to 215 again.  So it was then that I committed to myself that I would watch my weight during my pregnancy so I could continue my weight loss journey when I was done.  It worked!  (Although, I think being RIDICULOUSLY SICK the ENTIRE pregnancy had something to do with that!)  I actually only gained 7 pounds during the pregnancy.  (It helped that I lost a lot in the beginning when I was on IV fluids and medications for extreme hyperemesis.

I delivered Connor April 15, 2011 weighing 222 pounds.  I was trying to stay under the 220 mark, but was happy that I didn't get all the way back up to my highest point!!

I knew that after I have my babies, the weight seems to just fall off me!  Especially after I have a C-Section!  So I fully expected that, and was not disappointed!  With very little effort or exercise, I was down to 202.4 lbs by my birthday.  It was at that point that I used my birthday money to re-sign up for Weight Watchers.

May 6, 2011.  I signed up and recommitted to myself.  I am determined this time is a fresh start for good!  I know the road will be full of ups and downs.  I am ready to face them head on!

Fast forward a few months (3 to be exact) and I am still going strong with the program.  The best part, I've decided (on my own) to add some exercise with the point counting.  Man, what a difference!!  That doesn't mean there aren't days and weeks that I'm frustrated, because there are!  That also doesn't mean that I haven't set goals along this fresh start that I've missed.  The only difference is that when I miss those goals....I keep going!  I can't stop.  I have too much riding on this!  I am determined to stop the cycle of over-weight for my family!  For my husband, for my children, extended family.  It finally occurred to me that I have to be the leader in this life change.  Hopefully others will follow!

So onto my official numbers as of now...As of yesterday, I am down to 183.2!!  I am ONE POUND away from my WW 10% goal!  That means that since April 15th when I had Connor, I am down 38.8 pounds...or since my highest moment a year ago, I'm down 49.8 pounds.  And right now, I weigh less than I did when I ran my marathon!

So I will be using this blog as an outlet.  To express what I'm feeling along this treacherous journey.  The happy moments, the discouraging moments.  I am excited that by the end of this journey I'll be able to read back about my progress!  (kind of like I made for my marathon!)

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