Giveaway

The new year brings some new and exciting
 things around this blog!

Before I get to that, I want to talk a little about my Christmas...

This year for Christmas I was blessed.  

I got both the new ipod shuffle I've been dying for:

(personally engraved and everything!)

AND I got a fantastic SPI fuel belt for running!

I've been wanting one of those FOREVER!

I even got to try both of them out today on my run:

I love how my phone, my inhaler, and my running fuel fit perfectly in the belt!  It is so compact, yet holds a lot!  It stayed in place as I ran...Seriously, best running belt I've tried!

So because I love the belt SO much,
I have something special up my sleeve!

I'm talking a first for this blog....

A GIVEAWAY!!!!!

That's right friends.

In Progress for Good is giving away the very first prize on this blog.

Here are the details:

The giveaway is for your very own SPI fuel belt:

The rules:

You have an option for 3 entries in this drawing!

BUT THERE ARE multiple STEPS FOR SOME ENTRIES!

For the first entry:

1.  You MUST be a follower of this site.  AND,

2.  Leave a comment on this post about what your New Years Resolutions are!

For a SECOND entry:

1.  You MUST have "liked" In Progress for Good on Facebook HERE  AND

2.  You must share the contest link on your own Facebook wall and spread the word about this contest!

(YOU MUST THEN COME BACK AND LEAVE A SECOND COMMENT ON THE BLOG LETTING ME KNOW YOU SHARED THE LINK!!!!)

For a THIRD entry:

You can pin to Pinterest my nifty new before/after picture

(YOU MUST THEN COME BACK AND LEAVE ANOTHER COMMENT ON THE BLOG LETTING ME KNOW YOU PINNED IT)

The contest begins TODAY (December 31, 2012)

The contest closes MIDNIGHT (MST) January 2, 2013

Winner will be selected via random generator, and will be announced the morning of January 3, 2013.

Questions about the contest?  Contact me!

Otherwise, get started earning those entries!

And GOOD LUCK!

New Year, new look!

With the new year, I always like to de-junk and de-clutter around my house.  This year, I started early on the blog!  It's been driving me crazy for a long time!  Thankfully, I have an incredibly smart friend that offered to help.  Brandi at Thin After Twins is the one to thank!  So PLEASE!  If you haven't checked her blog out already, head over there.  She is absolutely incredible.  Go follow her blog, you won't be disappointed and send her some blog love telling her how great it looks over here!

With the new changes on my blog, there are a few things I want to point out.  On the right hand side, there is a great box where you can follow me in all my different social media aspects.  I've created a Facebook page specifically for this blog.  You can click the icon there to follow that page.  (Or click HERE)  Please, go like that page!

There is also a new button created, you can link that back to your own blog if you so desire.  Isn't it cute?!

And don't forget to pin-it-forward.  Brandi created a great before/after picture button that is pin-able to pass my story along.

And as always, don't forget...the contest is still going on!  Remember to vote once a day from now until February 15th!  You can read why I keep asking for you to vote for me in the contest HERE.

Why I do this...

I thought it might be fitting to put together a post of explanation.  You see, there is a contest going on and there are some questions arising about who I am, and what am I about.  I'd like to take a moment to explain.

Basically, I want YOU to know why THIS CONTEST means so much to me.....

As you might have noticed, I started my journey well in to the 200's....233.9 to be exact.

But my journey started way before I ever hit that number.  Many of my readers already know the big events (believe me, there are some doozies!) that have happened in my life leading up to my significant weight loss.  I detailed them in the MY STORY section.
(go catch up, I'll wait.....)

Here is what I really want you to know about me....

I am a girl who fought with the inner fat girl for years.  I wanted to be thin.  I wanted to lose weight.  I wanted to look great in that bikini.  I wanted to feel attractive both in clothes, and out of them!  Yet the want was never enough to propel me forward.  Instead, I would try all the quick fixes...I would tell myself I'd start tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year.  That day never came.  I'd eat fast food like it was going out of business!  (Some days I'd even stop at multiple food joints and then discard the "evidence" before I ever got home.)  The scale went higher, my clothes got tighter.  I was ashamed.

I couldn't stand to look in the mirror, let alone take a picture!  (Hence the reason I have so few "before" pictures to choose from...)

I even was at the point that I thought I was destined to be "big" forever.  I tried to hide in the back of rooms, I dreaded the thought of actually being noticed!

And then something clicked inside my head.  It was like a light bulb went off.  I figured out that I actually had control of my life.  I actually had control of what I did, what I ate, of everything!  I realized that for too long I had been hiding my emotions in the food I was eating.  I realized I needed to take back control of my own life...a control that I thought was taken from me all those years ago when I was raped.

I realized that I had learned to use food to cope.  To cope when I was sad, when I was happy, when I was depressed, when I was angry, when I was PMS-ing.  I was addicted to food, and lots of food!  And as I took a step back, I realized this food addiction was being taught to those I loved most in this world.....my children!

So what I wouldn't do for myself, I began doing for them.  Slowly, I started making changes.  Mostly with my food in the beginning.  I was careful to track what I ate.  I am completely convinced that losing weight is 80% what you put in your mouth and 20% what activity you do.  I began eating more vegetables than I've ever eaten in my entire life!  (I'm not kidding!)  Then, I added in walking (NOT running).  (Running was too painful at the size I was at!)  Slowly the scale started moving.  The more the scale moved, the more focused I became.

And you're waiting for a wahlah, everything was perfect ever since..........right?

Well, you have the wrong blog.  You see, this blog is all about life being in progress for good....and that applies to my journey (as well as yours!).  I have fallen down so many times I have lost count.  My knees are bloody.  I have wanted to quit over and over again.  But here I am, because I decided to stand up one more time than I have fallen (and I will continue to do that WHEN I fall again!).

 (Me, this past week wearing a YOUTH large)

You see, we all are going to fall.  We all are going to have slip-ups.  It's life.  It happens.  The key is how you decide to react to those set-backs.  For too long, I'd use the set-backs as an excuse to "quit."  Not realizing that each set-back we have in life makes us stronger!

So why is this contest so important to me?  Probably the same reason this blog is so important to me!  Because I have the FIRM BELIEF that YOU have the ability to become your best self too.  And if reading my story, and the hell I've had to overcome, helps motivate even just ONE PERSON I feel it's worth it.  I want YOU to know that it IS possible.  I don't care if you've tried 2039482304820439820 times in the past to lose weight, YOUR PAST DOES NOT DEFINE YOUR FUTURE!

Did you hear me?  Because I'm speaking from my heart here...your past, no matter what it is, does not determine who you are to become!

What does determine your future is what you do TODAY!  Are you going to take steps forward today to paint the future you want for yourself?  Or are you going to just "wish" that "one day" you "might" get there.

You can do this, just as I have, and just as so many others have!  You are powerful, and have the strength to do hard things!  So please, put your head down....your blinders on....and start moving in the direction you want to be!

Home, sweet home!

We spent a wonderful holiday up away from home. We quite enjoyed ourselves! We stuffed out faces with delicious food, surrounded ourselves with those we love most, and spent time commemorating the reason for the season! (Pictures to come...)

But today, today wiped me out! Today was pack up and head home day. And because we have to take two cars to fit our dogs, that mean I HAD to drive. (And I couldn't sleep.) boo.

And believe me, I wanted to sleep!!!

But alas, thanks to the windows being rolled down, my children made it home safely! (As Popsicles, but safe nonetheless!)

I'll detail our happenings a little more, and share my plan for getting back on track after mindless eating for the last week. Check back tomorrow.....

Reflection

So with the new year quickly approaching it's a perfect time to re-evaluate.  Over the next few days I plan to really take a hard look at my plans for this next year.  I plan to evaluate what is doable for me.  A lot of changes lie ahead, and some big announcements are to come.... (yes, I'm gonna leave you hanging and tease just a bit.)

Am I where I wanted to be?  No.  Have I given up?  Not even close.  Life is full of ups and downs.  

So my challenge is for you to evaluate where you are at today.  Where were you last year at this point? Maybe you got where you wanted to be over the course of this past year....maybe you didn't.  My advice:  stop living in the past either way!  You see, either way it's time to keep pushing forward.  It's time to focus on what is ahead.  Whether that is maintaining, or losing, or something different entirely!  

Evaluate who you are right now, and DECIDE who you WILL be in 2013!  Let's all do some serious internal evaluations and be ready to share January 1st.....

And of course, don't forget to vote for my blog in the Healthiest Blogs of 2012 contest!  I am playing with some real big-timers.  There are blogs that have THOUSANDS of followers, others have been featured in USA Today.  Then, there is little Alisha.  But I'm hanging with the top dawgs right now.  I'm just a few votes shy of 5th place!  (And just 60 out of FIRST!)  Can you believe that?  I know I can't!  But I am so appreciative of EVERY LAST VOTE placed for me!  Thank you!

Healthline

Last thing:  I just signed up for a Twitter account today (I'm new to tweeting) and a new FB page.  Feel free to follow me there.  The buttons are up and to the left...

Merry Christmas

A very Merry Christmas from my family to yours!

Hoping each of you had a wonderful holiday!  We spent our time surrounded by those we love most, and even enjoyed a white Christmas.

Hope your holiday was spent doing much of the same...

So are you ready to kick it into high gear now?  Because I know I am.  I've spent the last few days trying to ignore that underlying nagging feeling about the bad foods I shoveled into my mouth.  It wasn't pretty.  But, I'm not going to apologize for it.  You see, I'm all about living.  This lifestyle is one that is in progress for good...  And I'm all about living, but living healthy.  Learning to enjoy the things I love, but doing so in moderation.  Learning to celebrate a holiday for a DAY....not 4 months.  

So today, Christmas is over.  And that means it's time to re-focus.  And what better reason to refocus than finding out I was nominated for "Best Health Blog of 2012."  Whoa.  I can't tell you how much of an honor that is to me!  I literally teared up when I saw I was nominated.  

You see...I don't do this for the attention, and I surely don't make any money off this.  I blog about health because it is important to me. I blog about it because I know it is hard to get health and stay healthy.  I blog because I want people to know that it is possible to change your lifestyle.  It is possible through a lot of hard work and determination.  And my honest to goodness hope is that I can get through...even just to one single person.  

So, do me a favor...if you like what you read here...or if you find my story helpful...please go vote for me!  

Healthline

Feeling great!

My plan for today's run was to go 5 miles...but I hoped for more like 7.  I took it easy.  I started slow.  I listened to what my body was saying.  I walked when I needed to walk.  I ran when I was feeling good.

The first 5 miles flew by and I was feeling great.  Cold, but great.  Once I hit between mile 7 and 8 the wind was blowing so hard.  I was freezing.  I thought about giving up.  I mean, after all...I had hit my 7.  But I knew my body felt good, so I pushed on through the weather.

I took water with me this time.  I didn't want to get dehydrated.  It helped.  I ate my sports beans again.  That also helped.

By the time I hit mile 9 I was feeling great.  It had even warmed up (now that the wind was on my back, rather than blowing into my face).

I ended up going 10 miles in 2:02.  (average pace 12:13 min/mile)  Not too shabby considering my last long run (9 miles) was on November 30th.  3 weeks ago!  Between then and now, I've tried to get out on a few runs but have felt so lousy that most times it didn't happen.  So to be able to go 10 miles AND feel great doing it....HUGE BLESSING!  (Did I mention that today I feel better than I have in weeks?!?)

A while back I talked about pushing for a sub-2 hour half marathon.  Just for your information....THAT IS NOT HAPPENING!  I'll be happy to finish in 2:45, and I mean it when I say I'll be happy!  You see, I have re-evaluated my priorities.  And right now my priority is to take it easy, don't get injured....but most importantly:  LISTEN TO MY BODY!

I want to complete this half marathon and feel great crossing the finish line.  I want to finish it and not strain my body in any way.  And as long as I'm on track to do that, I'll feel successful no matter what my time ends up being.

One day, when I'm able, I'll focus more on the time.  But this time, I'm all about focusing on how I feel...

Alive again...

Yes, I am back and functioning again.  FINALLY!  I wouldn't say I'm 100%, but probably 90% and that is great by me!

What does this mean?  It means I need to re-focus on my movement.  It means I need to take my overall weekly steps from the pathetic 11,012 back up into the 70,000 range.

I guess that's how you can tell how sick a person has been...based on their steps.  And mine have been averaging 1500 per day.  If I hadn't been so sick, that would be pathetic.

I have great plans the next few days to be active.  We are going to spend the holiday surrounded by those we love most.  I have plans to see beautiful Christmas lights, people watch as I wander through the mall, attend multiple family parties, and frankly just enjoy the season with loved ones and great food.

I am also going to try my legs out this weekend.  I'm not going to do anything crazy!!!  But I am going to listen to my body and lungs and head out for a run.  I'll let you know how that goes.  (After all, it's been 8 days since my legs have pounded the pavement...)

So back on the wagon again, only this time I am looking at the wagon a little differently!

Eleven days.

Eleven LONG days!

That's how many days I've been sick!  Coughing, sneezing, chills, fever, body aches, more coughing.

It's been a very long eleven days!!!

And because of that, I haven't been able to keep up with my training.  :(  I've only ran one day in the last 11.  One.  I'm gonna pay for that in January during the race!

Honestly, I'm starting to wonder if I'm every going to be healthy again...........

Babe before Baby

Post edit:  I had this blog post scheduled in advance, knowing I had written the post over at babe before baby.  Then, today something terrible and tragic happened.  My heart is aching.  I have tear stained cheeks.  And I am squeezing my babies all a little tighter today.  Please take a moment, pause, and send a prayer to all those suffering after the tragic losses in Connecticut today.  

Today I have a very special treat for you!  My sweet friend Karri from Babe before Baby asked me to do a blog guest post for her today.  This was my very first guest post, and I was a little nervous about it!  I met Karri through the blogging world, and she has quickly become a dear friend!  She's absolutely gorgeous, funny, witty, honest, with just the right amount of snarkiness!  So do me a favor...head over to her blog and check it out.  And while you are there....send some love her way, and let her know I sent you!

Change

Yesterday was a good day...mostly.  I won't go into the "mostly" details because no one likes a downer!

I was able to make it up my mountain...slowly.  But when I got to the top, I sat and reflected for a while.  You see, just over 3 years ago we were basically the first ones out in our subdivision to buy a lot.  We've waited and waited for neighbors to come.  And over the years, we've been happy with our little neighborhood.  But, within the last 6 months the area has BLOWN UP!  (And there are another 90 homes under contract to be built shortly!)  Yes.  Blown up!  It was amazing to me to look at the difference 3 years can bring.  And then it made me sad.  Sad, because I know we won't be living in our cute little house for very much longer.

I couldn't be happier for Jason and his career!  He's really found an amazing company to work for!  One who values him, and rewards him for all his hard work!  I feel so blessed.  But my heart aches knowing what we are going to have to leave behind in a few short months to become a family under the same roof again.

My heart aches for the friendships I've built and will have to say good-bye to.

My heart aches every time I see my girls heading out the door to play with neighborhood friends!  They really have it good here.  There are so many little girls their ages, they always have someone to play with.  Who knows if we will ever be able to find something even remotely similar!

My heart ached yesterday when I scheduled Connor's 2 year old check up, knowing this would be the last doctor visit we have with the best pediatrician.  I tear up every time I think about having to find another doctor for my kids.  If you could only see the way he treats his little patients!  If you could only see how much he loves what he does!

My heart aches for so many things in relation to what is to come for our family.

And while change is necessary, and can be great....today, change is hard.

12*12*12

Never again in my life time will I see another awesome day like today.  Today would be the day I chose to have a baby...or get married...or do something AMAZING.  But because I'm already married, and I'm definitely not pregnant, I'll have to find something else amazing to do.

It's going to start with walking my mountain!

Thank you for the advice and support I was given yesterday through FB, emails, blog comments, and texts!  You all are great!!!  I decided to take a hard close look at how I was feeling.  I mean, sure, I had no voice.  But how was I really feeling.  I had a cough, I wanted to stay in my PJs...but really, part of that was just because I wanted to be lazy.  So I decided to try out a quick run.  And run I did.  No, I didn't get in the full 5 miles that I was scheduled.  But, I got in 4 of them!  Tomorrow, I'm planning to do the same thing...go out for a run, but listen to my body.  And when it says stop, I stop.  But if it's being a wimp, I push on.

So to make the most of today, what are you going to do?  Eat 12 donuts?  Go on a 12 mile walk?  Do 12 jumping jacks?  Seriously, do something cool today.  Me?  I plan to do 12 random acts of kindness for strangers today and I'm going to include my kids in the project!!!  (I'll give you the full run down later...)

I'm off to walk my mountain with my Bubba.  He loves the mommy/son time...actually, he just loves being outdoors!  Watch my Instagram for pictures from our adventure...

Lastly, I leave you with my prized possessions!  Last night I let them stay up later because they were getting along so well!  Man, I love them.  Sometimes I get exhausted from being their mother, but I sure love my kiddos...

Needing advice.

I'm bummed.  Real bummed!

And I need some advice!

I've been ridiculously sick the last few days.  I was going to push through yesterday and run my scheduled 2-3 miles, but I just wasn't feeling up to it.

I missed last weeks 9 mile run.  I opted to repeat my week of running this week.  

Only.  I feel like crizap and don't wanna run.

Today I have absolutely NO VOICE.  It is seriously gone.

So that brings me to my dilemma.

I'm afraid I'm going to fall too far behind for January.

I've been hit and miss on the runs I've been able to do the last little bit.

So here's what my running schedule was SUPPOSED to look like for December:

Because I was sick I didn't do the 9 miles on the 7th.  My last long run was on the 30th of November.  I went 9 miles in 1:44 that day.

Here's what my ideal schedule looks like heading into January:

As you can see I have very little wiggle room before the 19th when the 1/2 is.

So now I have to decide what to do!

If I skip another long run this week....that would be bad, right?

So do I run while I'm sick?

Do I just go as far as I can?

Do I throw the whole schedule out and just push myself the best I can?

How far was your longest run before running a 1/2 marathon?

More than anything, I want to finish the 1/2 feeling strong.

NOT feeling like I had to crawl across the finish line.

Please!  Any advice you have, I need!  I'm down and out today...worried I won't successfully be ready for my 1/2 in just over a month.

Eighty.

Side note...I have updated "My Story" above.  I thought it would be a good way to give new readers an idea of who I was/am/and am still becoming along this journey.  Feel free to read it, it puts the main parts of my story all in one place.

I have officially hit the 80 pounds lost mark!

To celebrate,

let's talk a little bit about how heavy 80 pounds really is...

I lost 267 iPhones

I lost the equivalent of 10.5 average newborn babies.

(The average newborn weighs in at 7.5 pounds)

I lost 53 loaves of bread.

I lost 160 pairs of my running shoes (or 320 individual shoes).

I lost a total of 540 DVDs and their cases.

Eighty pounds is 80 pounds!

And I tried really hard to pick up the large sacks of flour equivalent to 80 pounds to get a picture representation.

I couldn't do it.

I got to 40 pounds and almost dropped the sacks in Costco.

I am amazed that I used to walk around EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. with all that added extra weight!

It is absolutely powerful to look back and FEEL how heavy that number really is!

Weekend Round Up

How was your weekend?

Mine was spent mostly in bed.  Sicker than sick.

I did not get in my 9 mile run.  I did not leave the house basically at all.

I drank lots of fluids, took lots of DayQuil. 

Today I'm finally starting to feel better.

How are you starting this week?

I'm planning on repeating last weeks running schedule.

That means:

Monday:  2-3 mile run

Tuesday:  5 mile run

Wednesday:  walk my mountain twice

Thursday:  6 mile run

Friday:  walk my mountain once

Saturday:  9 mile run

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.....so what's your plan???

Bubba's plan is to look stinking handsome....

Like what you read?  Then please SHARE IT!  Pin it, post it, link it...spread the love.

Gimme a break!

Wednesday I finished my last final for the semester.  Not only did I finish it....but I CRUSHED it!  I, Alisha, aced that test!  100% baby!  I felt amazing for ending the semester with a big fat A!  I may have over celebrated.  (Yes, I said over celebrated!)

(Cafe Rio is my ultimate weakness!)

(Mmmmmmm.  Pork Salad.....Mmmmmmm)

Thursday rolled in and I did nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  I may or may not have been in my PJs most of the day.  I bummed around and didn't feel even the least bit guilty about it.  I messed around with my blog...did you notice?  :)  I'm still working on changing a few things...and updating my story.  I've shared it in bits and pieces through my posts but I want to get it all out there.  Then when I pick up new readers, they can click the "My Story" to understand where I came from.  Like I've always said...I'm a work in progress (in every aspect of my life)!

That brings us to today.  Friday.  I decided that I was going to make the most of my Christmas-6-week-school-break.  I got Bubba all bundled...socks mittens and all!

And up my mountain I went.  (My mountain = the large mountain directly in front of my house...it is steep.  Real steep.)  Only today I decided instead of making one trip up my mountain I would shoot high and get two in.  

Along the walk I noticed Bubba had fallen asleep.  He absolutely loves our walks.  He is so good while I'm out there, and today he actually relaxed enough to fall asleep.  (Good thing after two...TWO...4:45am wake-ups.)

I ended up walking 7.28 miles and it took me 1:44 to finish.  

By the end, I was tired.  And my legs were sore.  (I'm telling you, big incline!!!)  But I was glad I did it!  

Isn't that how all workouts are?

We dread them.

We put them off.

They are painful.

They make us tired.

And when they are done, we feel amazing for finishing it!

As for the scale...

right now we are BFFs!  I love Friday's.  My body hangs on to weight, hangs on to weight.  Then between Thursday and Friday that weight finally comes off and the scale drops!  This week it was BIG!

Last Thursday I weighed in at 159.4

Yesterday I weighed in at 156.0

Today...TODAY I weighed in at 154.9!

SHAZAM!

2 more days...

And then I can return to a semi-normal life!

2 more days and I'm out of school for 6 whole weeks!!!  (Best Christmas gift EVER!)

Last week was good.  I know, usually when I don't do posts it's because I'm falling off the wagon.  Well, not this time folks!

Sure, I might have had a few hiccups.  Sure, I might have had a few break downs.  But overall, I was good.  I ran (even got in my 9 miler!).  I ate well.  The scale dropped!  I'm happy.  Busy, but happy.  Life is unpredictable, and full of twists and turns....but I'm learning to find happiness in the moment I'm in.

I have big plans for some posts on here (starting AFTER Wednesday.)

Wish me luck on my final Final of the semester.....

On the right track

Thanksgiving is my all time favorite holiday!  (And NO.  Not because of the fat girl inside of me who wants to stuff her face uncontrollably!)

(Okay.  Maybe that's a little of the reason.)

But really, I love the holiday because it brings so many family traditions!  It means family time!  It is the one holiday that hasn't been overly commercialized!

So here's the recap on the happenings around here...

Thanksgiving morning started off with a bang!  One of our neighbors started a new tradition...she hosted a Turkey Trot.  Each of us brought a can of food as our race entry.  My girls were SO excited to run in their "very first race."  That morning it was chilly, but there was a great turn out!

I decided to run the race with Red Kitty.  She actually did really well despite no previous running.  We finished together at about 45 minutes.  She thought it was the COOLEST THING EVER!  She is already asking when she can run in her next race!  Tata, on the other hand, was quite funny.  She finished behind us with Jason.  As she crossed the finish line, I asked if this makes her want to run another race.  Her response:  "Um.  No.  Not really."  She was by far less than enthused about it.  

After the race, we came home and finished cooking.  We had a delicious spread of food...

Needless to say, I ate way more than I should have!  I tired to be aware.  I knew that I didn't want to blow it over one weekend.  But I also didn't want to deprive myself on the things I love most and only eat once a year.  I feel I did okay....much better than in years past, but there is still room for improvement in years to come!

I told myself I wouldn't step on the scale until Monday (today).  That way, I'd give myself time to adjust after the large meal.  I had also hoped to get in some runs.....but, that didn't happen!  :(  In fact, I've been quite the slacker on my half training over the last week.  But today I started fresh!  The holiday is over...the weekend is over...it's time to get back down to business!

Plus, I wanted to try out these babies:

These are my black friday deal/early Christmas gift from my MIL.  I love them.  Actually, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE them!  They are soooooo comfortable!  I've been wearing them around all weekend to break them in.  Today was my first time running in them.  I felt amazing!  No knee pain, no shin splints!  Sure, I only went 3 miles...but I really could tell the difference!  Good shoes make all the difference when running!

So long story short:  the weekend was full of so many fantastic traditions (most of which I decided I wouldn't bore you with on here, and instead I'll write about on my family blog).  It was full of delicious food, awesome shopping deals, but mostly.....the weekend is now over.  I am not on holiday any longer!

I even weighed in on the scale to make myself accountable:  Today I was at 158.6.  (Thursday I was 157.4)  So it looks like I'm up 1.2 pounds....not too shabby after all the crap I shoved in my pie hole!

My advice to each of you:  THANKSGIVING IS OVER!  Do NOT allow yourself to continue on through the holidays on a free pass!  Today is Monday.  Today is fresh.  Today you are back on track.....right????

Hawaii

I figured since I was going to Hawaii in May, I might as well try and make the most out of it!  And one of my bucket list items is to run a race in every state in the United States.

So.  I did a little researching, and wahlah!  There is a 1/2 Marathon in Honolulu on Sunday May 26...the day after we arrive.

You can bet your bottom dollar I'll be running in it!  (and it sounds like my mom and hubby are too!!)

Because I can

Today was my big, scary long run.

Actually.  I wasn't that scared.  I knew I could go 7, so if I could go 7....8 can't be that much different, right?

Today I decided to eat something before I began my run.  Usually, I just go out and eat later.  But when I ran 7 miles I realized I was lagging for energy a little bit.  So today I started with a piece of toast covered in PB and honey.  (Great for carb, protein, and a little sugar.)

As I ran, I was really enjoying myself.  I paced myself (as I always do on my long runs) and kept my heart rate under the 170 mark.

Mile 1:  a little chilly.  It took about this whole first mile to get my legs warmed up.

Mile 2:  went by in a breeze.  I felt like I was running so slow, but I knew I had to pace myself.

Mile 3:  a lot of this mile was down hill (hence my 10:03 pace for this mile).  I cracked open the sports beans at this point.  (Today was also the first time I've supplemented with something along the run to eat.)

Mile 4:  I was feeling great at mile 4....probably because I knew I was 1/2 done!  :)

Mile 5:  More beans were popped.  This mile was tough for me.  It was a steady incline and my hips were sore.  I wanted to walk.  SO BAD!  Luckily, the song playing in my ear kept me going "some times you just feel tired....  feel weak...when you feel weak and you feel like you just wanna give up...  you gotta find that inner strength....you do not give up....till I collapse....."

Mile 6:  I popped 2 more beans.  I kept telling myself 2 more miles....2 more miles, it's like nothing.  This is when my Gym Class Heroes came on.... "until the referee rings the bell, until both your eyes start to swell.....give 'em hell.  Turn your head.  Gonna live life till your dead!.....then you say to me THERE GOES A FIGHTER!"  I may or may not have been singing OUT LOUD as I ran this mile.....

Mile 7:  This mile was mostly downhill.  It wasn't too bad.  I was on a busy road, enjoying the cars as they passed.  I'm a people watcher.  And I pretend that others are too.  So running on a public road makes me run better and faster (and not stop) because I always say to myself...'what if your neighbor is the next car that passes....you don't wanna be walking!'  :)

Mile 8:  This mile was TRICKY!  I had told myself that after the last climb, it was all downhill.  Only.  I forgot the rather lengthy stretch of uphill that I had to do one more time.  I was tired.  And I was sore. And I REALLY wanted to walk!  So my music yet again got me through it.....thank you Kelly!  "think you got the best of me...think you had the last laugh...think you left me broken down....baby you don't know me cuz you're dead wrong!  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....what doesn't kill you make a fighter....stand a little taller....just me, myself, and I...."

And there you have it.  8 miles, done!

And the best part:  I don't even feel dead.  I feel I can still function the rest of the day.  Yes, I ended up taking an ice bath to help my sore hip.  But other than that, I feel pretty dang great!

Don't get me wrong.  There are days I don't want to run!  In fact, there are many days I have to just suck it up buttercup.  But today was not one of those days.  Today I ran because I can!  Today I marveled at the progress my body has made....I remember back just in July I couldn't even run a minute straight.  Yes.  You read that right.....I couldn't run ONE MINUTE STRAIGHT.  I wanted to collapse and die right then and there on my treadmill!

So no matter where you are on this journey of life....you too can make a difference for yourself!  Maybe you are at the starting line.  Maybe you feel you are re-starting at the starting line AGAIN.  Maybe you are part of the way through but thinking of turning around.  Maybe you feel you are making great progress.  Maybe you have been making great progress and now you've plateaued.  Maybe you are discouraged.  Maybe you are excited.  Maybe you are overwhelmed or scared......

Here's the thing.  I've been all those things!  And truthfully, I still am.  This process of getting healthy is one that takes an EVERY DAY COMMITMENT.  But slowly, as you recommit everyday you realize how much stronger you have become!  You realize you are doing this for yourself!  You realize that YOU ARE WORTH IT!

So get up, RIGHT NOW, and go make today a success!  (Then, come back and tell me about it!  Shoot me off an email, leave me a comment...I want to hear about how you celebrated being you today!)

More sixes

It seems there is a lot of six happening around my house right now.  I'm now wearing sixes....today is my babies sixth birthday!  And lastly, I've got a six mile run up my sleeve when it warms up a little.

I'm excited for todays run.  Real excited to get a good one under my belt.

It's Thursday's run that has me a bit nervous, you know...when I go 8 miles.

Post 6 mile run:  
Todays run was beautiful.  Honestly, if my lungs would have been cooperating I would have said I loved it!  But I was struggling to breath and had to use my rescue inhaler more than I wanted.  Mile 4 was KILLER!  I remember running that mile and wanting to come home and the details from that mile.  It was by far my worst mile, and it was also by far the mile with a HUGE incline!  (Hence my difficulty breathing and slow pace!)

I was hoping to finish under an hour....sadly, I was just shy of that goal.  Here are my splits:
9:38, 9:45, 10:12, 11:10, 10:28, 10:08.  I tried to push really hard that last mile to get under the hour mark but I was exhausted and by that point I just had to focus on putting one foot in front of the other to finish.  

Average pace:  10:14 min/mile.  

I just compared my last 6 mile run to this one and was surprised that despite feeling like it was a slow run, I actually shaved 2.5 min off my overall pace.  Maybe I am getting faster even if it doesn't feel like it....

Beautiful moments.

I love beautiful moments!

Beautiful moments like these...

Before going to the store, I had my regular 8's on.  You know, the ones I wear comfortably.  (Without needing to unbutton when taking them off.)  I realized they were getting a little lose and wanted to "try" the next size down.  But it didn't dawn on me that the next size down was a SIX!  A blasted SIX!

When I tried these babies on I stood there shocked.  Seriously.  I was stunned beyond belief that I, Alisha Bowling, fit in a freaking 6 jegging!  I stumbled out of the dressing room in a daze.  Who woulda thunk that I could get to be a size 6?!

People, size 6 was my 'well maybe one day if I work really hard a size 6 will be my goal size'.  I'm at a SIX now.  (And I didn't want to tear the tags off because really I wanted to shout from the roof top to the entire world that I AM A SIX!)

I've come a long way from my 20's not so long ago.....

Lets be honest.

It is always easier to blog when things are going great.  You know, when I'm losing!  When I'm eating great!  When I'm doing what I know I need to do.

It is not always easy to blog when I'm not.

I've been struggling a bit.

Okay.  That's a lie.  I've been struggling a lot.

I haven't been able to quiet the negative self talk.  Which then causes me to enter "the cycle."  Let me describe it...maybe you can relate?

Negative self talk....negative self talk makes me feel like crap....I feel like crap so I reach out to food....I reach out to food and I feel like crap....I feel like crap so I don't exercise as much....the scale goes up....negative self talk happens.....rinse and repeat.

I've done a lot of thinking since my last post.  And I decided more than anything, I want people to know I'm normal.  I have bad weeks (or bad months!).  This journey has not been a straight loss for me.  I've hit major bumps, and I still continue to hit them from time to time.

I have hit a bump now.

And the last thing I wanted to do was blog about it because honestly, I felt dumb.

I mean really.  Who gets into the 140's and then gains all the way back up?  Me.  I do.  I did.  And I have been VERY hard on myself for it.

Sure, I could make you a million excuses:  school is hard, my life is full of stress, etc, etc, etc.

Ultimately, it hurts to know that I was so close YET AGAIN and then I fell into the self sabotage mode.  I've been down on myself for not finishing what I was SO CLOSE to finishing.  Really down.  But I've had a few ahh-ha moments I want to share.

1.  I may be frustrated with where I'm at in the moment, but that doesn't take away what I've done up until this point.  I have lost a lot of weight.  And I've managed to keep most of it off.

2.  I need to find joy in this journey.  My focus this next week is to find the moments when I can appreciate exactly where I'm at TODAY.  Sure, I may not be where I hoped to be.  But I'm a crap load ahead of where I used to be!

So while I intended to stop blogging for a while, I realize I actually need it.  I need to stay focused.  I need to STOP GAINING!  I need to be grateful for how far I've come.  And although I have to re-lose weight AGAIN, this is what the journey is about.  There isn't a finish line.  Rather, there is a lifetime of work ahead to maintain my health.

So no matter where you are in YOUR journey, take a fresh look at yourself TODAY.  Be proud of who you are!  And no matter what, DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF!  I realize it's easy to do (stupid negative self talk!).  But really YOU deserve the best!  You DESERVE to hit your goals!  Maybe life has gotten hard for you too, that doesn't mean we give up on our goals.  Maybe we have to adjust the "finish date" but that doesn't take anything away from the end goal!

Continue working toward being the you you want to be and before you know it, you'll be there!

Break.

It probably won't come as a surprise to the few who read this, but I'm taking a break from the blog for a bit.  My mind and head aren't in a very good spot and the last thing I'm going to do is come here and whine and complain about it.  That's not why I set this blog up.

Right now my head is jumbled.  And I have to work things out for myself.  I have to find me again.  Maybe it will take a day.  Maybe a week.  Maybe it will be a month.

I just need time.

Eyes wide opened.

My eyes have been opened.  Wide opened.

As time passes and I continue to work on losing weight, sometimes I forget how far I've come.  Sometimes I get used to my body and forget how big I used to be.

While out hiking with the family, I was carrying Bubba on my back.  I was calculating how much the carrier weighed, how much he weighed.  Then I realized that if I carried him, the carrier, AND my 5 year old daughter I would weight just about what I was at my highest (230+ pounds!)

I even walked down the path for a bit carrying them both just to really feel what it was like.  

It was heavy.  

And honestly, I can't believe I was carrying around that amount of weight on a daily basis.

So while my journey may be slower than I hoped for, I can sit here and realize that I have made significant progress.  I have worked hard to shed the weight of 2 children (and a carrier).  I have worked hard to become healthier, and I haven't stopped.  

Sure, there have been times I've been sidetracked.  There have even been times that I gained some of it back, only to have to lose it again.  But I think if we are all being honest, that is the typical path of life.  Losing weight is not a destination.  There is no finish line for this accomplishment.  

Instead, it will be a life long change of lifestyle habits.  It will be a life long focus on continuing to stay healthy.

I get asked a lot, "how did you do it?"

THERE IS NO MAGIC RED BUTTON TO PUSH!  I did it by walking.  A LOT!  And eating foods that are good for my body.  And walking a lot more.  And now I've added in running.  The big secret is the one we all already know.....healthy eating; eating fewer calories than you burn.  

So while sometimes I might get discouraged at what I don't yet look like.........today I was amazed at just how far I've come!

Neglected.

I have neglected my little blog.  (And coincidently, I have neglected myself.)

I've been in a funk.

We went up to SLC to visit family a few weeks back and ever since I came home I haven't been myself.  I've found myself diving head first into candy bowls, I've found myself making excuses as to why I don't need to run.  I've found myself averaging less and less steps daily.

Then, I realized:  THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!

This is exactly what I did last year.  Halloween came and went and I decided that I could move less and eat more.  The weight came on and I did nothing about it for 7 months.  This is exactly what I do when I am SOOOOOOO close to what I have considered impossible for quite some time now.

You see, I have always said I wanted to see 145 on the scale.  But I never really knew if that was possible.  So each time I get close (this year, I've been closer than EVER!) I enter into self-sabotage mode.

It's depressing.

It's humiliating.

It's frustrating.

So here I am.  Now.  Again, losing the weight I've already lost.  Luckily, I caught it this time.  I am only up a few.  And now I'm working back down to where I need to be...back to where I thought was impossible.

Because ultimately, my goal for January 1, 2013....to NEVER have to make another resolution to lose weight again!

I've got some work to do, but I have put my head down and I am gonna get there!

Days like this help.....(short story that I definitely want to remember)...

Today I set out to run 7 miles.  (My longest run yet in my training for the 1/2 marathon.)  I was feeling good, a little chilly, but good.  That is, until mile 5 hit me.  At 5.5 miles I started the uphill portion of the run.  And I think it was knowing that the remainder of my run would all be uphill that had me worried. I was struggling.  I was thinking about walking.

I honestly thought in my head 'who would even know if I walked a portion right now."

It was at that moment that 3 city workers stopped the work they were doing on a golf course and came to the edge of the street and began clapping.  (Well, 2 were clapping and 1 was giving me a thumbs up and yelled "You can do it!")

It just so happens that at that exact moment, the lyrics to the song in my ears were "I have been blessed, and it feels like I found my way.  I thank God for all I've been given at the end of every day.  I have been blessed."  

It's safe to say that my eyes began filling with tears.  I realized how far my body has come.  I realized that just back in July I couldn't even run 1.5 MINUTES without dying!  Now I was running miles and miles.

I felt blessed.

And I finished the run strong.

I love the tender mercies that get me through the hard times in life...it makes me feel not so alone even when difficult challenges lie ahead.  (in my runs, and in my life in general!)

Hopefully you can take a step back and find the tender mercies in your life as well, because I promise they are there!

HUGE.

This is me.

At my lowest weight.

(Actually, this picture is a little heavier than my lowest weight...)

(I'll take another picture for the post...)

I have a lot of thoughts I want to share on it.

I've hit quite the HUGE milestone.

I am working on a post that really dives deep into me...my thoughts.  

My feelings.

Just know this:

I've spent a lot more time in front of the mirror the last few days.

I am starting to see myself a little differently in the mirror these days.

And it's actually really rewarding.

Even in the pictures I see, I can say out loud how excited I am to FEEL SMALL!

(I've never felt small....not even when I WAS small back in high school.)

So watch for the post, I promise it's coming.

It is just taking me some time to put my thoughts out there about this.

(And it doesn't help that I am right in the heat of a busy semester in school...)

High FIVE

Today was my long run.  And I'm not going to lie and pretend I wasn't nervous.  I realized the last time I ran 5 miles straight was when I ran the marathon.....5 years ago.  And before training for that....NEVER!

So today I was a nervous nelly.  I didn't know if I could trust my body to do all 5 miles.

My sweet husband kept telling me to trust myself.  He told me I'm too hard on myself, and that I needed to stop doubting and start believing.  (He's so right!)  (Don't tell him I said that.....)

I also received some awesome advice from my professional runner friend Brandi who told me to watch my heart rate!  It was something I'd never done before.  I'd always paid attention to my pace rather than my HR.  So today, my goal was to keep my heart rate within the aerobic range for my body (140-160).

At first, I felt like I was going at a SNAILS PACE!  But I felt strong.  1/2 through my run I wasn't labored at all.  In fact, I didn't even realize I was already 1/2 done!

By the time I finished, I felt strong.  Seriously, I probably could have continued!  I was SHOCKED that I ran the entire 5 miles without feeling labored at all!  My legs were strong!  My lungs were strong! My body was strong!

I FELT AMAZING!

Pace: 11:33 min/mile (Splits: 10:49, 11:47, 11:22, 11:40, 12:08)

Thank you to all the loving encouragement and belief sent my way.  I'm truly starting to see that I sometimes don't give myself enough credit.....

Oh. Hi.

What have you been up to this week?

Me?

I've been busy in pretty much every aspect of my life.  Here's the recap:

• SCHOOL:  Studied my tail off for a massive nursing test.  (YES!  They are all massive!)  (This particular test have a very low passing rate...as far as I can tell only about 5 people actually passed...luckily, I was one!)

• ME PROGRESS:  I've been a stickler this week to stay on track with my planned runs!  
• Monday I ran the 3 miles I already talked about (splits 8:50, 11:08, 10:03)
• Tuesday I ran 8 laps around my little neighborhood for a total of 3.03 miles (splits 9:37, 9:50, 9:27)
• Wednesday I took the day off from running...I was out at school ALL. DAY. LONG.  Then, last night I was invited to a coed softball game.  I played fast pitch softball in high school and LOVED it.  And have MISSED IT!  So I jumped at the opportunity!  (And I even got a hit!) 
• Thursday (today) I started the morning off with 3.18 mile walk with the hubby up the mountain behind our house (in 57:47 minutes).  It was a cool morning and loved feeling Fall!  After that I hit the pavement running....I ran 3 miles (splits 9:21, 10:09, 11:00).  My hip was a bit sore and my hamstrings were tight from the uphill walk earlier...but I FINISHED!!

• MY PLAN:  Tonight...I'll be headed to Zumba for an hour!  Tomorrow I've got a 5 mile run planned and then 2 hours of Zumba tomorrow night.  The Zumba is the Party in Pink to raise money for breast cancer awareness and I'm pumped about it!  :)  The run, on the other hand, scares the crap out of me.  Running is so mental!  And I need to get my head on straight during my run tomorrow.  It's been 5 years since I ran 5+ miles!  5 YEARS!  And before my marathon training, I don't think I had ever run 5 miles!  So tomorrow I'll be stepping up to the plate again....ready to face the anxiety of the 5 mile fear!

Wish me luck!

Now...what's YOUR PLAN for the rest of this week?  How are YOU going to make a step in the RIGHT direction?  Maybe it's a walk?  Or a bike ride?  But seriously, do me a favor......DO SOMETHING FOR YOU!  You deserve a healthy body.  You really do!

1/2 Training and October goals

I've finally figured out my 1/2 training schedule.  

Here is what my October looks like...

I didn't get out yesterday for my run, so I'll be doing 3 miles today and tomorrow.

Wednesday's I always have the day off because it ends up being a LONG day out at school!

Saturday's are also rest days because I have 12 hours clinicals.

At the beginning of each month, I'll post the calendar for accountability.

If you don't see me posting about my 1/2 training....feel free to call me out on it!

I need to do this, and my goal is to finish it in 2:30.  (Scary!!!)

I know the only way I'll get there is consistently training....

Now onto October goals!

I'm at the point that I'm ready to commit to saying:

BY HALLOWEEN I WILL SEE THE 40's ON MY SCALE!

Pounding the pavement

When things get stressful in my life, pounding the pavement always helps!  They say any problem can be fixed with salt water...the beach, tears, or sweat.  And since I can't get to a beach, and crying gives me a headache....running it is!  

Today I pushed myself 4 miles.  (Remember, I have a 1/2 marathon I'm training for!)  I had Jason go out and drop me off.  I despise out and back runs.  So we drove out 4 miles and I started.  Jason gave me a few tips.  He watched me run last Saturday in our 5K (for as long as he could keep up...).  He noticed I was running up and down rather than forward.  When he mentioned that, I remembered others saying the same thing in years past.  So today, I was set out to focus on propelling myself forward rather than bobbing up and down.

It feels different running that way.  My hip was feeling a little sore by 1/2 through the run.  But I honestly felt like I was going faster!  Then I came home and looked at my splits:

Mile 1:  9:00  (I NEVER run a 9 min/mile!!!)

Mile 2:  10:01 (Still pretty fast for me...)

Mile 3:  11:07  This mile was ALL UP HILL!!!  Ugh.  

Mile 4:  10:49  I was TIRED by this point and my legs were sore in all new places

To sum it up, I can tell a HUGE difference in running forward.  I really just watched my shadow and made sure I wasn't bobbing.  It helped!

My overall time was 40:59 (a 10:15 min/mile)...not too shabby!

Sunday will be my next run.  A simple 3 miles.  But next week, OH!  Next week I'm going 5 miles.  My stomach is already in knots!

I'm real.

Real honest.

And I honestly earned the number I saw.  (And not in a good way!)

I can't lie to you guys.  Monday and Tuesday were ROUGH!  I was emotional and I ate my emotions rather than feeling them.

Wednesday I pulled up my big girl panties again and moved forward.  (After all, I have a competition ending in 2 weeks that I REALLY want to win!)

Wednesday I rocked my face off with my food choices.  Today has been great too.

I guess you could say I'm back on track!

Huge thanks to all you sweet followers and friends for pulling me out of the dumps when I was perfectly content eating myself miserable.

My scale sits at about 160.something.  But.....all things considered, it could have been sooooo much worse.

I honestly didn't know what to post today and finally I realized.....EVERYONE messes up.  I've messed up along this journey 23420349482034823094820349 times!  But I haven't quit.  And neither should you!

I don't care if you had cheesecake last night!  I don't care if you stuffed your face with McDonald's AND Burger King just for lunch alone!  I don't care if you ate 6000 calories yesterday.  I don't care if you've been off the weight loss wagon for a long time or a short time.  The truth is, we all mess up.  Our success is determined merely by fact that we can brush ourselves off and do better.

Sadly, I'll probably mess up another 2390482304928 times.  (and so might you!)  So what?!  You are trying!  And THAT my friends is going to get you somewhere!

Success is measured by the amount of times we get back up after we fall down....and all you have to do is get up one more time than you fall to succeed!

So get up!