Break Through!

I think it's safe to say I have had a breakthrough! 

It's been several years since I weighed what I do today. 193 has never felt so good! But I'm continuing to push hard to see those 180's. 

I was trying so hard to see them before February 1st. But, I promised myself I wouldn't be disappointed if I worked hard and fell a little short. I knew it was a big goal. 

That's always been something that holds me back. The 'what if.' What if I put everything into getting healthy and I still don't like who I see. 

I've learned I need to see myself through the eyes of another, maybe even God. I don't usually get religious on here, but today I'm making an exception. I think about the person he made me to be. I think about how I sell his creation short when I'm overly critical of myself. I think about what he would say to me. I even have been thinking about what I'd say to others...and then I try to treat myself the same way. 

Life is hard. Don't make it harder by being so critical of yourself. Bodies are amazing, and strong. My body has made and carried FOUR beautiful babies. What a miracle! I am learning to love my body for what it is. It's a learning process, but I've come a long way these last few months. 

Do yourself a favor, glance at that person in the mirror and tell them thank you! Because you are strong, and your body is amazing! 

Catching up

Man. Life is busy, and it passes quickly!

I've been doing alright. Some days are great, others I need to work harder at.

I've felt like I've been a little stuck, gaining and losing the same 2-3 lbs over the last week or two. I got sick of it this week, so I changed things up a little. 

I added green smoothies back in my meals.

I've already seen the scale drop two days in a row and am 0.2 away from the lowest I've been in years. 

Clearly, I still have a ways to go; but it would be so nice to get out of this set of numbers. Hoping to see the 80's soon. 

If things aren't working for you, don't be afraid to change it up a little! I try not to change things up when everything's working....kind of the whole "don't fix what ain't broken" mentality. But sometimes our bodies get used to what we feed it, or what we are doing. So small (healthy) changes are always a good way to 'shock' your body back into losses. 

Thrive

I'm a huge believer in Thrive.

I was skeptical when I first learned about it. Okay, I was more than skeptical!!!

It took me a while before I accepted the samples offered to me.

However, the first day I tried Thrive I could tell an immediate difference!

I started it on a night shift. And I can't stress to you enough about the energy I had! I didn't drag at all!! Everyone else was hitting that infamous drag of a graveyard and I just kept buzzing around.

I thought it was a fluke. I didn't want to believe that the vitamin, shake, and patch could make that much of a difference.

So I tried it again the next night. 

SAME RESULT!!!!

I ordered my month supply the next day. I've been thriving ever since.

Is it a magic weight loss regimen? No.

I'll be the first to caution you that it is not a lose weight quick kinda thing.

But what it gave me back was my energy! I hadn't felt that good since I was at my lowest.

Have I lost weight on it? Yep! But I fully believe it's because I finally have the energy to WANT this again. I finally have the energy to move more. (And....the appetite suppressant sure helps throughout the day too!)

Today I'm trying the black label.

 It's supposed to be a DFT on steroids. (Also helping my mood, which lets be honest....winter blues happen when it's so frickin cold outside!) 

Today I'm so glad I took a chance again on myself! Be willing to take a chance on yourself. Sure, if you want to try Thrive, I'd love to introduce you to it. But really....I'm talking about ANY chance! Be willing to do something today that lets you take a step forward to the person you want to be!

Today is brand new and fresh. And there's nothing that has happened in your past to take away a SWEET future for you! Make today the day you change something for the better. We can't do the same things day after day and expect different results, that's insanity. 

Today, join me in making different choices. I'll be asking myself "What would the Alisha from last year choose?" And then, I'll do something different! 

Today was bad

I really could just end the post with that one sentence.

Today was bad.

I wanted to eat everything and anything. 

And I kinda did.

I'm not thrilled with how I feel (physically or emotionally) at this point. I'm chugging lots of water. 

Normally I would have just hid from the blog. But I'm here to show you, bad days suck. But I'm determined to stop the bad DAY and not make it bad dayS or a bad WEEK. Or month. Or year.

Time to start tomorrow with a good choice, rather than Reese's Christmas Trees (that might have started off my day today......) 

Time

Time passes, one way or another. Today this popped up on my timeline:

Reminded me (very vividly) of the moment I finally found my health after everything. 

I am so proud of how hard I began fighting for me. Yes, I took a (long) break from this blog. (I probably even lost all the readers I had.) But here's the thing: I'm still me. And I'm still fighting.

I have no doubt I'll get back to where I was. And I'm grateful every day for the surprise Madi brought me. Clearly I wasn't ecstatic when I first found out. But man, I don't know what my life would be without that crazy girl.

Writing on this blog has always been so therapeutic for me. I forgot how much I needed and loved it for that reason. 

So here's to finding my health again like I finally did 3 years ago before my pregnancy. Here's to finding time for me despite being a crazy, full-time working mom. 

It's almost been 15 years since everything happened to me. I think it's time to keep pushing forward  publicly. I've always continued to try (even when I wasn't writing). But I've missed the aspect of trying to help others find themselves again as I worked on my own journey.

So if you're reading this today, thank you. Thanks for sticking with me. Know that I believe in you just as much as I believe in myself. Let's make this our 'Sweet 16' year!!!

Good things are happening

So yesterday I worked. And when I got to work, I glanced at my phone and saw the best thing ever. I won something. 

You guys.

I have never won anything. Not a contest. Not a drawing. I've never entered anything and been chosen. 

Sure, I've won competitions that I've worked hard for. But never been "lucky" to win.

Yesterday, my streak ended when I saw this on Instagram:

I'm super thrilled to have won!! This is my first dietbet experience.

BUT....I was even more giddy about the fact that THEREALHEIDIPOWELL, Heidi-freaking-Powell typed in my name to congratulate me. 

(Now don't be burstin my bubble, telling me it was some PR person logged in her account.) (because I will choose to disagree and instead believe that the incredible Heidi knows who I am.) 

Post edit: I just realized she also mentioned me on the post on her blog!

I love Heidi. And Chris. 

Star struck much?

I mean really, Heidi and I are practically BFFs now...

Truth

News flash.  My blog has been closed for a while.  Not because I haven't been trying.  (and falling) (and trying some more)

It's been closed because I haven't known what to write.

It's been weird.

But after a gentle nudge from a friend (love you Windee) I decided I needed to use my blog as my outlet.

Maybe I'll have something profound to say, but most likely not.

What I can promise is honesty.

So the question looms....where am I in my journey to health....

I'm still fighting.

Each year I want this to be the last one I have to make a resolution weight related.  And each year ends with disappointment.  This year, I've taken a new outlook.  You see, each year I HOPE to refocus on my health.  Because my health is really important to me!  It's not a "failure" to be focusing on health each year.  It shows determination, it shows desire.  And most importantly, it shows that it's absolutely okay to keep trying when things don't go how you see them go in your head.

2016 is a lot of things to me.  But mostly, it's finding health in ALL aspects.  Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.  2016's focus is going to be balance in my life.

One aspect that I've always focused on for this blog is my weight.  And that is no different this year.  I ended the year working hard on dropping pounds. (took a brief break between Christmas and New Years) (and am not back at it again.)

More than anything, if you are reading this you should know one very important reason I re-started the blog:  It's okay to be exactly where you are at today.  Don't let where you hoped you would be get you down.  Just pick up today and be grateful for it.  Today can be what you make it.  And I'm choosing to make it sweet!  Here's to a 'Sweet '16,' wanna join me in making it as sweet as we can make it!?

Hip, hip, HOORAY!

Today I weighed in on my scale.
I am officially the lowest I've been in a year+.
Over this last year I've mostly stayed in the high 190's to low 200's.
I did get as high as 210...possibly even almost 215 at one point.
(I'd have to go back through my Withings scale app....and frankly, at this point, I don't want to spend too much time in the rear view mirror.)

But today was good!
Today was encouraging.
Today was a nice change of pace.

As far as workouts go...

I'm working out HARD in the gym we have every other day.
I also use a stability ball for wall squats and ball hip up curls.  (I call the hip ups DEATH!)
I am SO sore when I finish.  SO SORE!
I've worked out in the gym many times before but have never used a stability ball, so I know the added soreness is coming from the ball.  It's crazy intense.
After lifting, I jump on the treadmill and walk for 20min, keeping my HR in the fat burning zone.

I am dripping in sweat by the time I finish!  It's intense, but I love feeling like it's making a difference.

On days I don't lift, I have the option to get in a walk.  I haven't done this yet.  Typically, I'm so sore.  Or I'm dead tired from working graves.  So I've just been doing the bare minimum.  (And if I'm being totally honest, which I always am, I've even skipped a few workouts.)

Each day I press on.
I can't lie and say it's easy.
It's not.
Everyday I want to stuff my face with foods that aren't good for me.
Ice cream, cookies, chips, fast food, candy.
But.
I don't.
Everyday I fight with myself, and most of them I win.

Here's to continuing this plan.  I can't wait to see where I finish September at!
We now have less than 100 days until the end of this year.  (Crazy, right?!)
What goals are you going to set for yourself between now and then?
Pick something, be deliberate.  Be intentional.  What is something you can focus on and be proud of yourself that you accomplished or stuck to come December 31st?

A Week of Change

This past week I can say I've put in more effort with what I eat than I have in probably the last 6 months combined.  I know I've hinted on Instagram about the changes I decided to make last week.  I was hesitant to share.  (At least until I knew I was going to really make a go of this.)

So a while back, my fantastic cousin introduced me to a business here called Total Health and Fitness.  At the time, I honestly thought 'hm.  They have a lot of fantastic philosophies when it comes to how to lose weight....but, I can do this on my own.'  And at the time, I did.

Then, last year sometime, my dad also started going there and has had amazing success!  And at that time, I was either pregnant or had just had Madi.  And again, thought I could do this just as I did before.

Flash forward.

I have struggled.  I've felt myself slipping.  Emotionally.  Physically.  Mentally.  I know what I want, and I haven't done it.  But I haven't done it because I have been holding myself back.  Plus I've been intimidated by trying to figure out when and what and how much to eat while I'm working the graveyard shift as a nurse.

So, I jumped.  And it was a pretty big jump for me.  I wanted to stand up tall and shout to the world "I did this myself" when I lost all the weight.  I was letting pride stop me.  But then I smartened up.  It dawned on me one night, what matters more?  Is my pride more important than my health?  The answer is no.

So I'm here to say:  I sought out help to get things in order.  I sought out help to find myself again.  Because if I'm being 100% honest right now, I don't like myself right now.  I have gotten back to my old habits of avoiding mirrors, of wearing sweatshirts in 90+ degree weather.

Plain and simple:  I don't like where I'm at right now and I feel too stuck to move.

So I met Bryce.

Bryce is fantastic.  He's helpful, and yet has made it clear he will cut through any BS.  He explains things in so much detail for me.  I love it!  So by now, you're probably wondering exactly what Bryce does for me at Total Health.......right?

He is my coach, or advisor, or whatever you want to call him.  (Sorry Bryce, I don't know your technical title)  (Not that you will ever read this....)

At Total Health and Fitness, you sign up for their program, and each week you meet with your "person" (Bryce).  He sits down with me and figures out a meal plan for the week.  A DETAILED meal plan.  He figures out how many calories I should be eating to drop weight.  But not just calories....he makes sure my percent of protein compared to carbs compared to fats is all where it needs to be to give me the best results possible.  He also details a workout regimen that I am able to follow at home.

Each week I meet with him, we change things up so my body is surprised.  It's the shock and awe factor!

He also has me step on a nifty machine that does a complete body composition analysis.  It tells me my body water balance, my segmental lean analysis (where all my fat is being stored), my BMI, my percent of body fat, and of course my weight.  We take physical measurements so I can see the inches shrinking.  It's pretty awesome!

I'm not going to lie.  Week one (last week) was mortifying.  It was ugly.  It was uncomfortable.  I was determined to follow what he told me to do as closely as I could just so I could never be back at that point again.  (Spoiler alert:  I did!)

After meeting with me, Bryce is confident that if I work hard (and follow what he's telling me) that he can have me to my goal weight by February.  FEBRUARY!  That means the holiday's I'm going to need to focus in and treat them as a ONE-DAY holiday.....NOT a 3 month holiday!!!

So there you have it.  THAT is what the change is all about.

And I am happy to report that after one full week, meeting with Bryce again today, I felt great!  Proud.  Happy!  Excited.  Taking this one week at a time helps it to feel doable!

So yes.  I will be posting on here what I love (and maybe don't love) about the program.  This is no different from when I lose all the weight before.  I fully expect there to be ups and downs.  Slip ups and bang ups.  After all, last week I wasn't perfect with my diet.  (And by diet, I mean FOOD.  Not "diet" because this IS a lifestyle change.)  I slipped up and had some breadsticks while watching football Saturday.  (And maybe a few chips too.)  I splurged on some fries on Monday.  I made mistakes this last week.  But when I did, I didn't let myself get out of control.

I am starting to gain the control back again, and I like how that feels!!!

Alas....you are probably wondering about results now, right?  I know I would be!

My starting week:
Weight:  204.1 (aiming for the mid-high 140's)
Body Fat %:  40.1  (aiming for around 24ish%)
Fat Mass:  81.84 (aiming to lose most of my weight from this section)
Lean Mass:  122.26 (aiming to keep my lean muscle weight at this point, or higher)

I was told to focus on losing the fat mass....0.6% per week.  Because when you focus on the "weight" it is deceiving once you realize how much your weight is made up of.  And Bryce reassures me that by following my menu, and workout routine, I will be losing the weight from the fat mass rather than losing my lean muscle mass.

My Week 1 Results:
Weight:  198.0 (loss of 6.1 lbs)
Body Fat %:  38.7 (loss of 1.4%...more than doubled what I was aiming for!)
Fat Mass:  76.63 (loss of 5.2lbs)
Lean Mass:  121.37 (loss of 0.88)

This post has already become much longer than expected....but I'll post again soon about the types of foods I'm eating and the exercises I'm doing....

Be the Change

It's time for me to get up.

It's time for me to brush myself off.

I know I've said it before.

And I've hesitated even blogging about it again.

But because I'm honest, and this journey is real, I am putting myself out there.

I am hoping this will be the last time I start over.  

I am hoping this time will be the time things click again.

I am hoping I never have to come to this blog and say I'm sorry for falling off the wagon.  Or I'm sorry for neglecting myself and this blog.  

So for my own sake.  I'm documenting.

Today.

Today is the day I made a big commitment. 

Today is the day I sought out help from others.

I'll go more into everything soon.

But just know, today is real.

Today I'm fighting to get me back.

It's going to be a battle, but I've gotta win.

So I'm off to make a grocery list and give this week 110%.

Today I'm going to live the change I want to be...