Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Tough love

I have seen a lot of chitter chatter these days about weight loss.  I've been following a lot of conversations.  Some snarky, some motivating.  Ultimately, it got me thinking.  Thinking about expectations and role models.  It has me thinking about my own personal journey.

You see, many people think you have to do certain things to lose weight.  That you HAVE to have a gym membership.  Or that you HAVE to own a treadmill.  Or that you HAVE to have support from a spouse.  (note:  I had NONE of these during the bulk of my weight loss....)

The truth is, that's just not true.  Not any of it.  Each person has a different journey.  Each person has different obstacles in their way.  And while some might find certain people motivating, others may not. That's just life.  I don't expect to connect to everyone who reads my blog.  In fact, sometimes I'm surprised anyone can relate to me.  But I've always vowed to be honest about my journey.  Because if nothing else, that is what I was searching for when I was in the middle of losing all the weight.

I was one of those girls that made excuses for myself.  I'd have my thyroid checked every 2 months because it HAD to be low since I wasn't losing weight.  I was one that told everyone, 'well if I had the ability to go to the gym I could lose weight too.'  Or another one I used frequently was, 'well if I had more time...."

Here's the truth:  I was being a passive pansy with myself.  Because honestly, the truth was too hard to accept.  And if that is where you are at, trust me...no judgement coming from me!  I lived that way for YEARS!

I refused to look at all the meals I'd indulge on through a drive-thru, refusing to look at the fact that I'd come home and plant my rear on the couch for the evening.  I surely wouldn't count calories...at least not honestly.  Because honestly, that was hard.  I didn't want to be accountable.  I didn't want to admit that truthfully I could be doing things differently.  I said I did.  I told 34923804982309 different people that I wanted to lose weight.  But did I really?  Were my actions matching my words?  Sadly, no.

That is why I probably started over so many times.  Because I was never checked in to my own health.  I was never willing to look at myself in the mirror with honesty.  It's easy to fluff things to make yourself feel better.  We all do it.  It's so NOT comfortable to have a come-to-Jesus talk with yourself.

But that talk is what changed it for me.  Not allowing myself to use those same excuses that I had for so many years.  Not allowing myself to believe I was destined for fatness my whole life.  And when I lost all this weight, I could have used a million more excuses for reasons not to.  Instead, I let them propel me and make me stronger.

Losing weight isn't rocket science people.  It really isn't!  It doesn't take shakes, or magic pills, or shots, or any fad diet.

The big secret to losing weight:  BURNING MORE CALORIES THAN YOU CONSUME.

So what excuses could I have used?  I had just had a baby, my husband was gone the entire summer across the country working, I was living a single-mom's life,  I couldn't afford a gym membership.  so what, so what, so what.  I found a way to make it work BECAUSE I MADE IT WORK!

It's when you want something so badly, you get in a state of mind...the find-a-way, make-a-way state!  You will be willing to pace your house for HOURS at night, stepping up and down on a Wii fit board.  (Don't have one of those?  Walk in place...it's the same thing!)  We all have feet, we all know how to use them.  And that's exactly what I did.

Was it easy?  I guess skill wise, yes.  It doesn't take a genius to put one foot in front of the other.  Was it enjoyable?  No.  It was boring as hell!  But sometimes you just have to suck it up and do it anyway because that might be the only option you have in the moment.

Now maybe you aren't in the make-a-way place.  Maybe you aren't ready for that personal accountability.  I understand completely.  No one can force another person to be ready to change their lifestyle.  No person, no health diagnosis, no anything.  You will only decide you are ready when it clicks in your head.  Until then, I won't give up on you!  Keep trying.  Keep finding a way to be the best you you can be for the day.

I know it's hard.  I know it's painful to be utterly honest with yourself.  Only you know your best self-sabotage techniques.  And until you are honest with yourself, you'll keep using them.  But only you can decide what kind of hard and painful you want to face.....

It's hard to swallow a bitter pill.  It's hard to change eating and exercising habits.  It's been one of the hardest things (still is) I've done.  It takes constant focus and dedication!

But do you know what else is hard?  Not having the energy to play with your kids because you are overweight.  Being winded going up a flight of stairs.  Not having a single outfit in your closet that fits. Feeling like the "fat one" all the time.  Never finding a "good picture" for your kids to take to school.  Feeling like you embarrassment of your kids because "your tummy is really big."  Or how about dying at an early age...missing moments in your families lives because health wasn't a priority.

No matter the path ahead you choose, it's going to be hard.  So choose your hard........


  1. I needed to hear this today! Thanks Alisha!

  2. Amazing!!! I really needed this. My bitter pill is stuck in my throat, I just need to finish swallowing it and pull up my big girl pants and go.

  3. Great post and totally true! I really needed this as I've been lacking in the motivation department. I'm choosing to be lazy and eat crap when I know I can do otherwise. Thanks :)


  4. Great post, Alisha! It’s just so motivating! Congratulations for finally having the will to lose weight and for overcoming all your personal issues. It’s true that, oftentimes, the biggest obstacle in our way is ourselves. Although, for some people, having an accountability partner definitely helps them keep motivated and focused on reaching their goal. Stay fit! Madison Mcnulty


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