With all of that, I have close to zero motivation for anything else.
I need to kick myself in the pants. Do you ever get in one of these moods? The ones where you KNOW what you SHOULD be doing...but you just don't. I know going out for a walk would help me feel better....I actually know it. And I tell myself each day that today, TODAY will be the day to get some fresh air and walk the mountain. Then...the day gets busy. I get tired. And a nap sounds so much more refreshing than any walk.
So, days pass. And I'm still blah.
I think part of my funk is knowing that I'm down to the last of my clothes that I can wear. (Notice, I did not say fit! Because nothing fits...I am looking like a stuffed sausage in just about any pants I own, and all of my shirts.) (Hence, my wardrobe is now PJ pants, hoodies, and scrubs.) I tend to not even get my makeup done most days, and I usually just throw on a hat or a pony tail if I have to run errands. Are you catching my drift??? I need to feel like a lady again!
I was out running errands at the mall and decided on a whim to head into Motherhood Maternity and try on some actual maternity clothes. After all, I am in my SECOND TRIMESTER now! So, it's allowed. ;)
(pants: size small; shirt: size small)
(I should have bought them both just because they said SMALL. I've not worn a small ever.)
Can I just say, for that one moment, in the dressing room, I actually felt pregnant....and not just chubby. It's hard at this stage. It's hard because none of my clothes scream 'I'm pregnant.' Instead, they shout...muffin top!! So when I put on those maternity clothes, it was as if I morphed into a pregnant lady.
Then. I looked at the price tag. And I couldn't swallow spending practically $60 on one maternity outfit....
But it has made me see that a lot of my funky mood has come about because I'm not dressing myself anymore. I'm not taking the time to care to look good. I remember I used to do this at my heaviest. I'd want to hide, blend in. So I'd wear big sweatshirts and comfy pants....hoping no one would notice I was big. Now, I'm falling into those same shoes again and it has got to stop! There is something to be said about finding clothes that fit your body comfortably...NO MATTER WHAT SIZE YOU ARE! So my advice...if you are in a funk...look at your wardrobe. Are you taking the time to wear clothes that fit your body. (I don't care if you are big, small, or somewhere in between!) We all feel better when we look good in our clothes, and I really feel it's possible to look good in clothes no matter what size you are! This was something I wish I would have realized at my heaviest.... So if there is nothing in your closet that makes you feel HOT.... go out and splurge on yourself! You deserve it.
(And it looks like I will be taking my own advice too....)