By Wednesday, I had a nasty head cold and all I wanted to do is lay in bed, doped up on Sudafed or Tylenol Cold.
So my training over the last week went like this:
- Monday I had a 2.56 mile walk. No pain, just a simple and easy walk.
- Tuesday I also got in a quick walk, 2.09 miles.
- Thursday, I opted to do another walk (1.67 miles) so that I didn't over do it with my PF and sickness for Saturday.
- Saturday was my long run day. 7 miles.
Total weekly mileage: 13.32 miles.
Now for the good, bad, and ugly.
By Saturday, I was excited for my run. I was excited to feel my legs moving. Only, I let my head get in the way. The day was BEAUTIFUL! I couldn't have asked for better weather. The course was equally pretty...although the end had some up and down hills that I wasn't very fond of. But the scenery was great. But I just couldn't get into it. At all!
You see, I made a huge mistake. I started feeling sorry for myself. This journey is hard. Like extremely hard. And if I'm being completely honest (which I always am on here...) Saturday, it SUCKED. I spent the last 2.5 miles of my run crying. At one point I even stopped running and called Jason in tears. I wanted him to come pick me up and bring me to the car so I could just be done. (He didn't.) I cried to him about how hard this all is. It's stupid. I am frustrated. I already lost all this weight once, and I was feeling very bitter about having to start basically at square one again. He gave me a mini-pep talk and told me to finish strong. I did not finish strong. But I finished, and there is strength in that!
On my run, I started comparing myself and my current place to others. I started wishing I was faster. Wishing I could finish races in my "goal" times. Wishing I hadn't spent the last ump-teen months eating cookies and ice cream.
Then I remembered a thought I read.
"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second next best time is now."
How powerful. How insightful. Sure, it's always easy to say...'oh I wish I would have just started before....how much easier it would be now!'
But I can't dwell on that. And neither can you! This journey is constantly in progress. There is no finish line. But the best time to start working on yourself is now. Because what you do today, determines what your tomorrow will look like.
Do not fall into the trap of comparison. When I got home from my run Saturday, I had to have a few friends and my husband shake some sense in to me. What I accomplished this week was fantastic, and what I accomplished this month has been double what I did last month. (And February was double what I did in January.) It is only myself that I should compare me to.
That is the only FAIR comparison. That is the only comparison that matters. So while I am not going to be joining the olympics anytime soon, or breaking any records with my pace...just know this. I'm out there doing it. And I hope you are too! Because together, each day we do right puts us closer to the person we want to be!